He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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