Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
