Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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