i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
