Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
