Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
