im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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