I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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