Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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