I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize