One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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