Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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