I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize