We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
