she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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