I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
