She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
