You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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