so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
