Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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