i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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