David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
