He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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