We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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