I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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