Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
