Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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