Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
