The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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