Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
