She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
