I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
