you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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