Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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