First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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