I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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