Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We need a shit load of segways right now
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
