We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
