Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
