Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
