and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
