actually, I'm a sock model
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Randomize