I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
