He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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