it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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