Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
