I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
