So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I want to fling myself into the sun
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
