I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
