This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize