So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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