Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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