I love having hate sex.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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