Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize