These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
