My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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