The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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