they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
