So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
