i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
