Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
