But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
