hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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